Oh no, oh noooo…


After bending over backwards for all those charities, it seems age has taken its toll for the Irish humanitarian Bono, who has just had emergency back surgery.

This has halted the tour for U2, and a lot of 50-something women are quite upset that their ‘I HEART BONO’ shirts aren’t going to get the attention to win the wealthy man over.

I’m thinking that this injury could help out the band though.

Think about it this way. With all of those painkillers in his system, he might possibly sound passionate about something, being lost in his thoughts.

At the moment, he seems to be swimming in an ocean of his own smugness on stage. How about taking him off the stage completely? Then you’d have the perfect venue for anyone who are on any hallucinagens, without feeling guilty about having the better life.

Come to think of it, Bill Bailey demonstrated what U2 would sound like if The Edge lost his effect pedals. I think what we need is a ‘U2: Unplugged’ tour. Forget the effects, and the sunglasses-wearing-at-midnight singer, and just focus on the MUSIC.

When the bassist from Muse broke his wrist, did he stop playing? No, he thumped away at the strings with a bright white cast still wet from the doctor’s office (after the bassist from The Streets helped a bit).

Did Josh Homme stop the Queens of the Stone Age gig at a huge European festival when someone threw a shoe at him? No, he halted the gig and proceeded to insult the guy in the audience until the punk kid came out, and he threw the shoe back.

Sticks and stones may break his bones, but words will never escape him.

Did Jared Leto stop playing when he broke his nose while running into the crowd? No, apparently he finished the gig and thought it was one of his best shows (But it’s Jared Leto, he ran into the audience so I don’t care. But the point still remains!).

Did Iggy Pop stop after getting ANY injury in his million year career? Come on, we all know the answer to that.

Stop your whinging for something real like world hunger, wear a spinal brace and start saying “Hello, hello”.

Oh, and condolences to the U2 fans out there. They’ll be on stage soon. Not going to give up all that ticket money so easily, are we?

The last time they cancelled, never heard the end of it from people I knew. It was like something bad actually happened…

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