A new biog”ruff”y

Take that, Take That.

I’ve always wondered how far back in time we would have to look to find the first person to put an animal through misery by wearing a ballerina tutu.

I can say from experience that it’s humiliating to see someone’s pet being put through the dubious task of becoming a living doll.

The only difference about this doll is they poop and tinkle for real.

What I love about the technology age is being able to dress animals up with incredible costumes without them even knowing it.

We’ve got cats and dogs battling epic fights in real life, as well as Narnia becoming something of a visual spectacle with animals going against humanoids.

Not only that, we can put dogs, cats, even guinea pigs into realistic caricatures of famous characters and humans.

When we all saw Bugsy Malone demonstrate the idea of kids acting out mafia shoot-outs and sappy love stories with cooties, the idea of bringing animals into the equation wasn’t far off.

Sure there’ve been movies like Dr. Dolittle, where animals were actually “moving their lips” to speak. But I want to propose something better: A series of biographies.

I can see remakes aplenty.

From pup to pooch, I want to watch a serious story about a famous scientist, actor, political figure or rebel, only acted out with a dog.

Just imagine it: We could really analyse  the mind of Charlie Chaplin without looking at Robert Downey Jr. and think of Iron Man. The worst problem we face as viewers is associating the actor with previous projects, leaving the actual story out of focus.

But throw a labrador into the mix, and we have an unbiased piece that really tugs our heartstrings.

And makes us go “Aww!” at the sad parts.


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