Posts Tagged ‘Brutal Legend’

Why does every vending machine have to deceive us?

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Sometimes you wonder what the aftermath of a stunt like this is…

This video tries to “Share the Happiness”, but when you look a little deeper into the issue, what this really does is give people the same deceptive experience as some people have been feeling with post-Avatar blues. But let’s investigate this further.

It's true. Girls love chocolate more.

The first woman only starts to share the machine’s ‘fault’ after the fifth bottle comes out. Had it stopped at four, she would’ve walked away.

[Lesson #1: We’re greedy up to a certain point. >4 items = Societal pressure to share]

Then the machine gives flowers. I would say for the three girls given flowers, they would soon return to their boyfriend, yelling lines similar to Janet Jackson’s “What have you done for me lately?”.

[Lesson #2: If you don’t treat your woman right, she’ll find love from a 600ml dispenser mouth]

0% Trustworthy. 100% Sue-Proof.

Students were given an abundance of items following that, like that flashy light thingy and a balloon dog.

That large pizza and giant sandwich raises some concerns. What if a student got food poisoning from the sandwich? Who would you sue, the vending machine?

[Lesson #3: To save restaurants and cafes copious amounts of legal fees, dispense all meals via a vending machine]

When all is said and done, what happens to these students? These kids are working two jobs just to pay the rent, without even thinking about the amount of homework gathering up.

This magical vending machine suddenly appears, promises you the world full of soft drinks, pizza and sandwiches, then all of a sudden, everything’s gone.

It’s just another blank wall in a hallway of dismay and dullness. A blank, ungenerous wall with no consideration for the students. Who’s there to explain to the hundreds of kids pumping in their change to get take-away Chinese, a DVD rental or results to their final exams?

I think our machine's a Chia pet

All that our office’s machines do is demand money, and then more money. Only then will the machine think about dispensing one of its items. I’m suspicious the machines are trying to dupe me.

At least I know what’s ahead for my future with our machine. Forget hostile takeover of the world by Schwarzenegger robots, I just want my crisps damnit!

And now, to announce the fifth and final round of nominees for the Wowwies Awards! And the nominees are:

Sexiest Video Game Character
Ophelia -- Brutal Legend
Bayonetta – Bayonetta
Chloe Frazer -- Uncharted 2
Ezio -- Assassin’s Creed II

The Greyest Person
Gordon Brown
Jennifer Aniston
Ben Stein
Nicole Kidman

Hand of God
Thierry Henry
Diego Maradona
Fabio Grosso
Mohammed Ali

And that’s it! The final listing of nominees to the very 1st Annual Wowwies Awards! Tune in early next week, when we get exclusive coverage of the Red Carpet, then the ceremony!


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqT_dPApj9U

Giggit…..rrrrrr…..

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Freaken sweet.

Family Guy Season 8 DVD

Family Guy - Season 8

The 8th season of Family Guy’s out soon. I always love grabbing the box sets of TV shows, because chances are things have been cut out, and Family Guy usually has something.

It’s got commentaries on every episode (so we’re hoping for more Seth MacFarlane goodness), some deleted scenes, plus the ‘lost episode’ about OJ Simpson that Fox couldn’t air at the time of completion because OJ was sent to prison.

He should’ve stuck to football…

There’s also a collection of seasons 1-8 coming out at the same time too, if you haven’t started collecting the series yet.

How’s everyone doing out there? How was your drivetime commute to work? Or maybe you’ve just gotten out of bed. I remember taking a nap October of last year after having a dream of living in a post-apocalyptic world. The door bell rings and three kids with melted faces come asking for food. Co-incidence, or bad time for a nap on All Hallows Eve? Either way, those kids got a big bite out of my door. What’re you trying to do, actually scare the people you’re begging food off of?

Left 4 Dead 2

Left 4 Dead 2 - Xbox 360

Left 4 Dead 2 is coming out on Xbox and the PC in the middle of November. Zombie invasions are always fun when you’re armed, so it’s reassuring that this one doesn’t make you play the helpless victim. It might be pushing it hoping to have a playable Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell), complete with chainsaw and boomstick.

For most of the world, expect more of the same awesome game you remember from the first, with new characters, weapons and Infected. For you Australians out there, you’ll have to fight your blood-thirsty zombies with kind words and hugs with the censored version. The lack of an R18+ rating means Australia’s getting a toned down version. Terrible for Aussie sales, since most will be importing it for that reason. Fighting a hungry croc’s fine, but a hungry zombie? Nooo…

We’ve also got our Christmas store open at CD WOW!, so if you’re thinking about doing some early planning before the mega Christmas rush approaches, have a browse around. We’ve even sorted out by specific family member if needed. Very handy when you have that blank moment in time when you say to yourself: “What does my dad like again?”

What’s new on your shelf? Found anything that’s worth talking about? I’m looking for some good ol’ rock tunes to get myself back into it. The soundtrack from Brutal Legend was a great start. Any suggestions?