Posts Tagged ‘cat’

A new biog”ruff”y

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Take that, Take That.

I’ve always wondered how far back in time we would have to look to find the first person to put an animal through misery by wearing a ballerina tutu.

I can say from experience that it’s humiliating to see someone’s pet being put through the dubious task of becoming a living doll.

The only difference about this doll is they poop and tinkle for real.

What I love about the technology age is being able to dress animals up with incredible costumes without them even knowing it.

We’ve got cats and dogs battling epic fights in real life, as well as Narnia becoming something of a visual spectacle with animals going against humanoids.

Not only that, we can put dogs, cats, even guinea pigs into realistic caricatures of famous characters and humans.

When we all saw Bugsy Malone demonstrate the idea of kids acting out mafia shoot-outs and sappy love stories with cooties, the idea of bringing animals into the equation wasn’t far off.

Sure there’ve been movies like Dr. Dolittle, where animals were actually “moving their lips” to speak. But I want to propose something better: A series of biographies.

I can see remakes aplenty.

From pup to pooch, I want to watch a serious story about a famous scientist, actor, political figure or rebel, only acted out with a dog.

Just imagine it: We could really analyse  the mind of Charlie Chaplin without looking at Robert Downey Jr. and think of Iron Man. The worst problem we face as viewers is associating the actor with previous projects, leaving the actual story out of focus.

But throw a labrador into the mix, and we have an unbiased piece that really tugs our heartstrings.

And makes us go “Aww!” at the sad parts.

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Cage and Kitty go for a stroll

Monday, July 19th, 2010

"Mushroom, mushroom!"

Seriously Nic, I know I say “What are you on?” a lot, but I didn’t expect you to actually tell us your poison of choice.

Nicholas Cage went on Letterman a few days ago to tell a story about his cat sneaking into his fridge and eating his stash of magic mushrooms.

Speaking as if the logical procedure was to follow suit, he followed his feline on the trip that broke the boundaries of species, and bonded with his fellow “brother”.

I’m sure someone working at Disney, the company that hired him in his latest movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, would have told him to keep all shenanigans to a minimum. Lindsay Lohan didn’t help Disney’s image of cleanliness for the Herbie remake.

But at the other end of the spectrum, the nephew of Francis Ford Coppola (that’s right, born ‘Nicolas Kim Coppola’) seems to be a guy you would find fascinating at a dinner table, right?

Not only does he choose the strangest of roles and still holds his head up high (no pun intended, but welcomed), but he’s known a lot of interesting people.

Cage was close friends with Johnny Ramone, Tom Waits and Crispin Glover, which at first seems like a strange pairing of people, but then again we’re talking Nicholas Cage.

Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation was a handful of craziness, and Cage played the screenwriter and his ‘brother’ perfectly. It’s times like these that strange and kooky actors find their place. Just as Ellen Page is suited to indie flicks, Nicolas Cage is destined for strange things.

Oh yeah, just make sure you split the bill at the end of that dinner. Strange people need to pay their way too, you know. We don’t all have castles and mansions.

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Cat Bowling + 3rd Wowwies Categories

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Kittens are cute. Cats aren’t.

Cats shoving themselves in a goldfish bowl = EPIC WIN.

There’s a list of the 50 Funniest Headlines of 2009. I didn’t create the list, but the least I could do is share it with you all.

I do agree with the statement about Courtney Love…
I just watched the trailer for the movie Big River Man, which was played at last year’s Sundance Festival. How did this movie slip past my fingers?

The man hurdles down dangerous rivers, and somehow doesn’t get attacked by the crocodiles and flesh-eating piranha? And the guy’s over 50 years old! Beer gut and all!

And now, for the second announcement of Wowwies Award categories! This bunch of Wowwies Awards goes out to the ‘Worst of’s out there that need to be awarded, but only to publically humiliate. They are:

Ken - By Request Only?

Worst Album Artwork
Spinal Tap tried to be different on a number of occasions, but just couldn’t get it right. For 2009, we look at bands that weren’t inspired by a mockumentary, and how much of a failure their album cover was.

No no no no...

Worst Book Cover
Books are written by scholars and those with intellect (most of the time, as Sarah Palin has demonstrated). Though these authors may have talent behind the pen, the pencil is a different story. We went through books high and low to find the covers with the biggest lack of inspiration and talent we’ve seen (and want to un-see).


Worst Cover Version
I’m not talking about the worst cover at your local pub where the 40-somethings hammer out their take on Summer of ’69. These nominees are well-payed, over-appreciated ‘talent’ who are putting nails-on-chalkboard to the very music you swore to protect when you said “No one can ruin this song for me”.

"I'm having fun..."

Worst Invention of the Year
When electricity was invented, who knew that the technology it would inspire also create such monstrosities as the Furby? They’re out there, whether it be useless tools, evil robots, or just plain dumb, we hand out a Wowwie to the worst of the worst. It’s a benefit to them, as the award itself would increase the invention’s worth, but not its usefulness.

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