Posts Tagged ‘horror’

The undead will bleed rainbows

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

She's cute and cutly.

Zombies don’t get enough love. First of all, having your body transformed into a rotting corpse that just won’t go away is no paradise for the confidence.

Secondly, everyone’s always afraid of you. “Oh no, don’t eat my brains” they say as you’re gnawing on their skulls. It’s not your fault. It’s in your unhuman nature.

I’ve given a zombie-themed post a week back about the importance of running away from the undead swarm. Running’s easy. Heck, it’s the first rule in Zombieland (Cardio). But who will give out the love that these monstrosities of Earth don’t seem to be getting any of?

The creative minds of a video game designer and a horror director have come up with a video game that combines a lot of cheek, and a lot of chunks.

Genius horror director James Gunn, well-known for his hilarious film Slither, as well as the similar-to-Kick-Ass-but-so-different Super, has teamed up with Suda 51, responsible for kick-ass games like No More Heroes and Killer7.

So what is this teamwork of horror, comedy and action?

Like a Buffy intro that makes you go “Well how is THAT a secret if everyone’s a zombie?”, this game looks to be something that will not make any sense, but at the same time will probably be extremely fun to play.

A cheerleader, it turns out, is as good at making zombies glitter and sparkle as a vampire’s daylight ‘power’. REMEMBER PEOPLE: SHE’S IN HIGH SCHOOL! Off-limits. Unless you’re a teenager, then by all means.


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Underneath the genre

Monday, April 12th, 2010

Finding it difficult? Me too.

All too often when you go to the cinema or the video store you’ll see movies put into categories like ‘Comedy’ and ‘Drama’, but you’ll still feel left out in terms of whether to see it.

I mean, is it “Ha Ha!” funny, or “Hah…”? When you read the description, does it really give you an idea on what “full out laughs”?

Ever had a friend say to you “This movie is so bloody funny!”, only to sit there listening to your friend explain every joke and why it’s funny, and no matter how you interpret the jokes, are told that it “isn’t for everyone”?

I’ve devised three sub-genres that should be used in place of these titles. Feel free to print this out on the neck of your DVDs to remind you of what’s inside.

NOT funny

Comedy
* Temporary solution to puberty blues
* Requires a second viewing to realise subliminal message
* If you don’t laugh, you have no soul

Romantic Comedy
* She gets her man
* She doesn’t get her man, but realises her best friend was there all along
* She doesn’t get her man or best friend, then gets her man

Drama
* Will leave you feeling numb
* Protaganist is miserable through the whole movie and gets the girl
* Greek tragedy

Thriller
* He was crazy all along
* …BOO!…You like?
* It was all a dream

It really did change horror films

Horror
* Pre-Scream movie structure
* Post-Scream attempts at irony
* You will only see red

Documentary
* It’s all the government’s fault
* It’s all your fault
* Look at the weirdo.

TV Series
* Shows about nothing
* Watch the internet’s 30 second summary
* Same formula, nothing changes

Action
* Computer generated
* Real stunts
* Steven Seagal

I still don't know how to classify this

Foreign
* Book-reading with moving picture above
* Hilarious dubbing
* Designed to confuse you

Sci-Fi
* Something happens in space
* Alternate universe
* Your guess is as good as mine

Childrens
* For adults who love cartoons and need underlying adult theme to brag at end
* Don’t show this to your child, because the songs won’t escape your mind
* Don’t show this to anyone. It’s for your own good.


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