Posts Tagged ‘technology’

Want to watch your dreams?

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

Before and after

It sounds crazy, but it just might happen! Berkeley University has come up with a technology that can create images of what the brain sees. Using ‘functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI)’ they can read the reactions to the brain. Read the full story here, or watch their findings here:

I’ve always dreamed of watching my dreams, and soon enough I could watch that Inception-worthy concept! While it’s nowhere near that capacity, it’s marvels of science such as this one that gets the imagination flowing.

Who knows, maybe we can record our imagination to explain movie concepts! It would’ve certainly shortened J.R.R. Tolkien’s books if he could just show them to you.

More importantly though it could help people with speaking problems, and those unable to physically move to speak.

Imagine all the money people could save on psychiatrists! Or better yet, recording an embarassing dream and bringing it out on your friend’s wedding night (you’d be a terrible friend, but it should be a great video).

Of course it all leads into the negative sides of this technology. Dreams are sacred videos of the deepest recesses of our mind. Unholy thoughts are kept well hidden from public knowledge (says someone who used to love Will Smith’s ‘Getting Jiggy With It’).

Could it be something similar to Total Recall, perhaps? If they can learn how the mind visualises, they can play it backwards. That’d be dangerous if used in certain ways.

What if your loved one caught a glimpse of what you were dreaming? That person you swore has nothing to do with who you really love could then become a non-existent enemy. But look on the bright side ladies -- At least men’ll know what you’re thinking now.

Or is that a good thing?

What do you reckon is the best or worth to come from this possible technology?

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Baywatch just got enchanced

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

I think I may have found my new hobby for the next few weeks.

A group of people have designed a program to quickly modify humans in already recorded shows (Baywatch) and green screen to give them more or less muscle, height and so on (I have a feeling they were wanting to originally try it with a certain actress in that show, but decided to stick to the safer, less suable option).

Most of the video above is quite ‘tech’y, and isn’t exactly what I’m getting at, but see the beginning and near the end to see what I mean.

Partying with Paris...makes sense.

If this type of technology was available to the public, just think of the possibilities we could have with already made films.

Oompa Loompas could all be normal-sized, and The Meaning of Life’s Mr. Creosote could be an incredibly thin man, who would then explode from a mint.

Technology can be an extremely powerful tool when it comes to the creation of new worlds, new visuals, and essentially anything else your imagination would want, but it’s always seemed a little out-of-reach.

If this technology was as easy to use as checking your e-mail, what films would you love to be completely (or slightly) altered, twisted, flipped, squashed and rolled?

I would love to alter home movies of when I was a kid to be abnormally muscular, being one of those freak babies. But then I’d have to face being the muscular baby who lost his way over the years.

Unless I film me now and modify that……..I’ll be back. *Runs*

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When technology talks…

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

I know we’ve all heard the fights between different phones, but through the beauty of online videos, I’ve found the EVO and iPhone together, discussing their technological differences.

You know, technology will never stop evolving. It’s a sad fact, but the great part is you can order all your most wanted entertainment through CD WOW.

I knew that’s why they call them ‘Smartphones’.

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Plugs? Where we’re going, we don’t need plugs…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

One piece at a time...

Technology. What is it good for? Absolutely everything. So with the issues of global warming and needing alternative sources of energy, we’re desperate.

Who would have thought The Matrix was closer than we had expected?

Princeton University scientists have created a flexible, rubber material housing piezoelectric cystals to apply to be strapped on to your skin. These crystals can convert simple human organ functions into energy. Lungs breathing in and out and moving your ribs generates approximately one watt of power. Walking briskly creates about 70 per heel strike.


So to harvest this potential source of energy, we could be able to keep our phone or music player charged by the power of movement.

Those dancing shows on TV could actually benefit society with this technology strapped on to them. At least they’ll be of more use than the judges.

Harvesting energy from humans sounds very Matrix-like, but until we start suggesting we live in pods filled with pink goo and create massive holes in our cranium to plug into computer systems (whatever happened to wireless technology?) then we’ll be fine.

Speaking of fine, I’d like to talk about a very fine and respected American film critic Roger Ebert. After his jaw removal surgery in 2006 the TV personality has been unable to speak, and has been left to use a computer in its place.

But now with the power of computers and archives, a Scottish speech synthesis company has taken his work on TV and commentary on DVDs to form a system where his voice can be ‘heard’.

As extremely cool as this is, there’s also a little danger. Voice recognition programs will be useless, and prank calls will be so much harder to decode. Say you’re after revenge after a good friend pranked you big time. Why not pick up the phone, use a program with your buddy’s voice, and use it to fool their partner into thinking they’ve been unfaithful.

Although it would be cool for Morgan Freeman to read ‘The Cat in the Hat’ to me for bedtime every night.

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Spoiled with technology

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Louis C.K‘s right: We are spoiled.

Who would have thought that waiting longer than 10 seconds for your e-mail would be torture, when snail mail took days, even weeks?

Phones used to be stuck to the wall. Watches used to be conformed to moving arms before those numbers became digital. Some people still struggle reading the analog-style clock.

It always seemed to flash 12:00...

I remember movies had to be rented out on VHS tapes (or Beta tapes if you go further back). If you wanted to be naughty, you would find a friend with their own VCR, and you could copy your favourite shows and movies. But then there was the dreaded plastic tab that prevented you from making copies.

Unless you had sticky tape.

So you’re sitting on your computer, most likely enjoying the speeds of broadband and beyond. You know what? Even I’m thinking old-school. You could be on your hand-held phone while doing your business in the bathroom (I appreciate the attention you’re giving to my scribes whilst on the throne).

Sometimes it’s good to just sit back, and notice all the cool little things we’ve taken for granted. Heck, you can have free video calls online. Free! I remember having to decode which aunt, uncle or cousin I was speaking to due to the low quality of the telephone.

“Ugh. Mum! My hyper flying sports car’s broken! Can you get dad to download the mechanic personality into the robot again?”
“Dad? You never had a dad. YOU’RE a robot!”

And now, to announce the third round of nominees for the Wowwies Awards!
And the nominees are:

Worst Album Artwork
Empire of the Sun
Jet – Shaka Rock
Whitney Houston – I Look To You
Neil Young – Fork in the Road

Worst Book Cover
One Hundred Ways For a Horse To Train Its Human
Hot Italian Dish
How to be Greek
Strictly Cat Dancing

Worst Cover Version
Celine Dion & Anastacia – You Shook Me All Night Long
A Cover Band -- Final Countdown
Glee -- Don’t Stop Believing
No Doubt – Stand and Deliver

Worst Invention of the Year
Smile Police
Gas Mask Bra
Dog Snuggie

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Tell me again, grandpappy + 4th Wowwies Categories

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Before the stereo, we had...

Before your fancy iPhone, before your lavish CD player, before your cassette boom box, listening to music while lying down in your bed was a little tougher.

I can understand why the elderly tell us of the old days, because we can then learn how tough it was, and prepare to exaggerate our own stories to our children.

Ten miles always seems to turn into twenty. Even if your county didn’t snow, it was packed full of the white powder whenever they went outside. And yet, some still don’t believe in global warming.
“But grandpa, the temperature’s gotten hotter every year!”
“That’s because you’re sitting inside playing your video games! When I was your age, kicking cans gave us enough entertainment.”

In retrospect, kicking cans nowadays shows signs of aggressive behaviour, which could manifest into a deeper psychological issue down the track. The court wouldn’t listen to the excuse: “But grandpa told me so!” (although saying that, blaming God and the video game Doom seems to work just fine).

If I followed my grandpa’s tastes nowadays, all my mp3s would come included with scratches that “tell the story about the record”. He could never admit that the first time he tried to scratch vinyl like a Disc Jockey, he ended up damaging his favourite Bing Crosby album.

Don't listen to this bloke

P.R. Nightmares
These are the types of nightmares where the zany PR officers out there, trying to be wild and different become outright horrific. Or it could be the result of said person trying to fix a horrible incident with a celebrity or company ‘mishap’. They can be clever with their words, so let us embellish cleverness with our own wordplay. A PR celebrating PR, as it were.

Shameless - A classic

Best Erotic Novel
Most of you may think that your monthly subscription to FHM, Nuts or any other magazine with a mixture of beer, sports and women (one of which wouldn’t want to be near either) is enough to be in this category.
It’s not an erotic novel, it’s like the feather tickle of a PG-rated burlesque show.
We’re talking about the kind of novel where absolutely ridiculous scenarios, and ridiculously flattering descriptions of characters are (very) loosely based around the author, and for no apparent reason, a picture of Fabio.
Don’t question my sources.
Let’s just say a certain ‘nanna’ said “Nanna” to being named.

Jeremy pwns n00bs

Best T-Shirt Slogan
We know you’ve been with stupid, that you drink a lot of beer and like to call yourself something magnificent. But we want to read something new.
Something that we don’t see everyday, and that deserves a shout-out at least. Most of the good shirts are never worn in dear they’ll be damaged.
Someone needs to give a voice to the little thread. The Wowwies are here to help.
For the record, anyone who wears a shirt that insinuates that you are the man to see when it comes to any sort of fellatio, then you’re broadcasting your inability to make anyone smile (even yourself). Harsh words, but then again, I’m only here to help.

*Sigh* Daphne...

Sexiest Video Game Character
I have to admit, there was a moment when I seriously wanted a real life Daphne from Dragon’s Lair.
For all the coins I could conjure to reach that princess in the black dress taken by the evil dragon, it was a struggle all in vain. But when I finally remembered every direction off by heart, when nothing stood in my way, the dragon was slain and Daphne was set free, I had a disheartening realisation: Dirk the hero had her, not me.
For a young boy, putting his hard-earned dollars into saving this beauty, only to be taken away by a clumsy knight, it hurt. It hurt.
So! Without further a due, we present the category of sexiest video game characters that were made to do to teenagers and adults what Daphne did to me. *Wipes away single tear*

Look familiar?

The Greyest Person
This category goes to the person that you first think of when someone mentions a grey character. Could be anyone you can think of within relative celebrity status wider than “Oh my boss is a jerk” thing.
Whoever you imagine would form thunderclouds from their sheer presence will automatically become a nominee.

Fluffy God Hand

Hand of God
If you haven’t heard of this term before, then it’s time we crushed your undeniable anger towards believing acts encouraged by a higher being. At the start of many sporting events all over the world, players, coaches and fans pray that their team will win. Once every 23 years, God Almighty (of an unspecified religion) will grace their power to influence a team to win. Whether it be dust flying in a an umpire’s eye, a player’s physical talents exceeding their usual potential, or even moving their body unknowingly, we want to award the instance where a higher being has shown its true colours, and its gambling habits.

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