I saw a white van today that resembled something like this.

Creepy.

I automatically assumed it was the police staking out the building across the road. This is the toll that countless films and television shows has had on my level of observation and apparent paranoia. But stakeout vans is where ‘it’s at. All the cool cops and undercover agents have them.

But it had some key features missing that would give it the iconic stakeout van.

First: Give your van a company. Most likely a moving company, or a pizza shop. I’ve chosen Tony’s Pizza (because I’m hungry).

"If it ain't Tonys, then you've chosen someone else!"

Second: Put a picture that says the company’s job too, just so passersby won’t read too much because of the colourful pictures. The best solution is something warm. That way, the heat radiation coming out of your vehicle could be blamed on the toasty warm pizzas that Tony himself cooked up.

It's authentic because he's smiling.

And finally to top it all off, add that strange satellite dish on top.

Why? Just because, aight?

Add a street, and viola! Your perfect hidden police surveillance van.

"Nuthin' suss...just a delivery..."

Any other movie clichés that pop into your head?