Champagne Dance Party
Do you like the angry rebellion of Green Day? Do you think you're a minority even though your're in the Top-40? Do you enjoy the left-wing pinko ramblings of Mr. Biafra and his crew, and have the burning itch to hug a tree? Maybe you like the pre-pubescent punk-rap of Sum 41, but really wish Menudo would do a reunion tour. Well friends, read no further, this band is not for you. Johnny Boy: Picture it, Sicily, 1929, an olive skinned girl.. oh wait, that's not Johnny Boy, that's a thinly veiled Golden Girls reference... Uh... Picture it, Boones Mill, VA, 1997, two old guys want to form a punk band... Both had been playing since 1982, and decided that the Punk scene would be better if they joined forces... Guy #1, Rick, enlists his Nephew, a certain Rah-B-G to play drums... All is good until Robbie decides to go to college and become a salesman for a major metropolitan software company. Years pass. Enter, Andre. Another long time veteran. Things get moving. Fast. Some, might say, too fast. Songs are written, a CD is recorded. World, Meet Johnny Boy. The name... Ah yes, Robert DeNiro's character in Mean Streets. What does that have to do with the band? Robert DeNiro produced the album!?! Johnny Boy did the soundtrack for Casino!?! Uh... No. Not at all. Dave the bass player just happens to like him, that's all. We've really never met him. Never blown up a mailbox either. But Dave does have a cool Fedora. I used to have a Fedora too, but that was when I was a kid and idolized Inidiana Jones. But I digress... Let's talk songs. You've got your 'Mini-Van'... a song about Dave, and how he had to go and have kids and get some 'practical transportation'. And 'Beer' which is about... believe it or not... Beer. I prefer Heineken, Dave and Andre drink crap like PBR and Miller. 'Love Song', which is about, as the name implies, someone you wish would die. And let's not forget the OBX Song. For those from not around here, OBX stand for Outer Banks NC, and they put OBX on little foreign license-plate looking stickers, and every yuppie-wanna-be piece of poo has one on his or her SUV. Set all these inane ramblings to some catchy old school punk, and you've got Johnny Boy. So, in conclusion... Liberal, NO. Beer-swilling, YES. Old School, YES. Yuppie-loving? NO. So is this the band for you, or are you scared? Yeah, that's what I thought. Go drink some wheat-grass, pop in a Phish CD, send a buck to the ELF, and f*** right off. Never trust a hippie. Love, Rick, Dave and Andre.