It's been a long time since I rock n' rolled. And it's been too f***ing long since Mike Macharyas tore your ass apart like he did with Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson. How long was it we had, honey? I bet you didn't count the days. Well, I did. Every one of them. Mostly, I remember the last one, the wild finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain, with a comical look on his face, because his insides have been kicked out. SO LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE PEOPLE. IT'S MIKE MACHARYAS. THEMIKE MACHARYAS. Will the real Mike Macharyas PLEASE STAND UP??? Now wave your hands in the air. Wave 'em like you just don't care. And if you wanna get down with Mike Macharyas, everybody say 'OH YEAH' Say 'WHOA' Say 'HO-HO' Say 'Go White Boy Go White Boy Go' NOW SCREAM!!!!!!! Mike Macharyas f***s you up the ass harder than Johnny Wadd here on Hilary Duff. Get the lube ready, bitches. This is gonna hurt him alot more than it's gonna hurt you. Even Todd Zombie shows his spooky ass on this one. The dude means business. Todd don't take no shit from nobody. And if HE says Mike Macharyas is a God, you better shut your ass up and listen to the man. Remember when Erin Smogor said she hated Mike Macharyas? Mike shows her who's boss on 'Erin Smogor.' And check out how f***ing SULTRY the track 'Cap'n Crunch' is. OH BABY THAT'S RED HOT!!!!!