Am I Here to Shoot Balls or to Clear the Table
So we're told we have to have a bio and it has to be intriguing and tell a story. We know you have to be bored to even read this. Bottom line is that a band at our stage of the game doesn't have much of a story. Moreover, we don't think you give a crap about the fact that Joe was only 16 when he started playing with Jew in a dump of a town in the central valley of California, and they weren't even called The Orphan Project at the time. We don't think you want to know that they recruited Joe's former best friend as their bass player to only have him leave then come back some time later to only leave again, to then come back a third time before Jew and Joe (from here on they will be known as J&J) got smart and kicked him out before they moved to Seattle. You probably don't care that Jew (no matter how much he protests) left Joe holding his drum sticks alone for over a year without warning while he (Jew) moved to Canada, for reasons only J&J know and maybe the other person he moved to Canada for. Ok... fine... we'll talk about it... J&J tried to start this thing called The Orphan Project three times. Going in and out of each others lives only to keep on coming back for more until they finally realized they were heterosexual life partners and just accepted it. In 1999 they exchanged vows, and no matter what the state recognizes as a legal union they will remain a 'band'. It was actually in 1999 that they decided on the name The Orphan Project and started learning how to play their instruments and write songs (they still have trouble with the former). J&J performed around the undisclosed California location for a few years until Joe graduated High School, they both had time to drop out of college (yes we condone that) and then decided to move to Seattle. To then find the best thing that ever happened to the band before KII and Bill Blackstone: Raleigh Heitzman. Raleigh came under the control of The O.P. beast through means that can only be described as uncanny. J&J were in the U District after only being in Seattle a little over a month when they saw a band (who, since we're not in the business of free advertising, shall remain nameless) loading their gear into a local bar (that will also remain nameless for said reason) J&J talked to the guys in that band, told them that they were new to the area and looking for a bass player. One of the guys in that band said his roommate was a bassist looking for a band. J&J gave them a copy of an old O.P. demo and they got it into the hands of Raleigh. After much thought and second-guessing and despite the advice from many of his friends and colleagues Raleigh called J&J to see if they had any glimmer of potential. Ralls came down to rehearsal and must have been really high that first practice because he came back to the next one. Quick thinking on one of J&J's parts, late one night they drugged Raleigh and made him get a matching tattoo the day after Joe's 21st birthday. No turning back now, that is, for this trio branded by the distinct red star... Joe - drums, vocals Jew- guitar, vocals Raleigh- bass, vocals ...And as a point of clarification, it's The Orphan Project. Not 'Orphan Project'. Not 'Thee Orphan Project'. We'll only tell you once. We are the Orphan Project...