She Dangled It in Front of Him Just Like a Cat Toy
PBTB: The movie of the bio It's been decided that in the movie version, cello-wielding, Patrice Aguiar, will be played by Jerry Seinfeld and the part of multi-instrumentalist/singer/songwriter, Rhonda Everitt, will be played by Ben Stiller. Jerry and Ben have grown up together in the neighborhood and have been friends their entire lives and are now in their 40s. Jerry has a great job in an office and makes lots of money and Ben is currently unemployed and living off his parents while he pursues his dream of becoming a DJ. He dresses up like a skater punk (his friends love to harass him for this) while he goes out and spins at the only club in NYC that will have him. Part of the reason Ben doesn't do well as a DJ is because he insists on playing songs that the kids don't know so girls will come to the booth to request songs. But since the girls are all really young and he's not, well, you can imagine. So, one day Jerry is having lunch with a female business associate, let's call her Gwen. Ben happens to be having lunch with one of their other high school buddies which will be played by Sean Penn. So, Sean and Ben stop by Jerry's table to say hello and meet Gwen thinking that Jerry must be dating someone new. But she's introduced as a business associate. Hmmm. Several days later, while Ben is waiting in Jerry's office to go to lunch, Ben glances through some business cards sitting carefree on the desk. But, whoa, what's this? SNAP! Gwen's business card? Ben quickly grabs several cards and puts them in his pocket hoping Jerry won't miss them. A few days later, Ben gets up the courage to call Gwen and says something like, "Uh, Gwen, hi, yeah, my name is Ben Stiller, I met you at the little Greek place when you were having lunch with my friend Jerry. Remember? Yeah, so why am I calling? Well, Jerry and I had lunch the other day and he thought that we had a lot in common and that I should, you know, give you a call...uh, well, I don't remember, but why don't you name some things and I'll let you know when you get to it." Amazingly enough, Ben and Gwen hit it off even though they don't really have anything in common. And all is going well until they run into Jerry and Sean one day in the Village and Jerry happened to ask how they got together. Realizing that Ben lied, Gwen starts freaking out right there in front of everyone saying she never wants to see Ben ever again. Ben had been doing fewer DJ gigs and was working a real job so that he could actually tell Gwen what he does for a living. But now that didn't matter, so he called in a favor and got a club gig that night. Bad idea. He was playing love songs from the 70s while the kids and club manager were losing patience. The manager gave him a warning, "One more under 140 bpm and you're outta here." Ben ignored all the requests until someone asked for some old school Erasure. He looked up and saw the woman who requested his all-time favorite, early 90's electronica act, was Gwen. "Jerry told me where I might find you. Do you mind?" She says trying to join him in the booth. He puts on Erasure and she starts going through his collection. "What's this?" Gwen asks pointing to some CD-R's buried in the back. "Oh, those are just some mixes I did at home...they're, nothing." But like every good girlfriend, she insists on hearing something, "Ooh, a JT remix?" She puts it on and the club goes wild. Then she put on another one and again, the club goes crazy and the dance floor is full. Of course, it just so happens that JT's old college roommate is at the club and is managing some new up and coming acts. He, Topher Grace, heads to the DJ booth to find out if Ben would be interested in doing some remixing for his up and coming acts. At the same time, Jerry and Sean show up to see what's up and they all live happily ever after. Three months later, Ben makes a video with Kramer tap dancing throughout Central Park which ends up on MTV. Of course it wins the Video of the Year Award which he graciously accepts from Lenny Kravitz. At the after party, Jerry asks Ben, "So, you took business cards out of my office and used my name to get that job and a date with Gwen, right?" "Yes, sorry, I hope you can forgive me," says Ben. "You probably won't want to call that guy from Algernon Industries again, though Brett, my old boss, says 'hello'." "Right," Jerry replies.