World Will End in the Key of G
Rubella Graves, born September 18th 1908, was the only surviving child of Werner and Elizabeth Graves. Both previous attempts at reproducing were tragically cut short when an outbreak of rubella plagued the small farming community of Byldadek on the Russian/German border. In an attempt to save their unborn child from the same horrific fate as it's postmortem siblings, the Graves family thought it best to isolate themselves aboard a sailing vessel carrying 200 or more sick and hungry peasants, en route to the hippest place on the planet. After quarantine and months of painful work as sparring dummies for up and coming heavyweight prize fighters, the Graves family went west to California, where they settled and produced twelve more children. In 1924 a sixteen year old Rubella Graves found her way down the coast. Her goal was to break into the flicker business by not only being beautiful but also by playing the sweetest sounding ukulele anyone's ears had ever heard. Upon arriving however, she was told that there wasn't a great demand for ukulele playing actresses as no one could hear what she was playing. She remained in town briefly and picked up some work as a seamstress in the costume dept of RKO studios and appeared as an extra in numerous silent films. Rubella retired her show business aspirations in 1926 and resigned herself to teaching music at the local elementary school. At the age of 25 Rubella met Horace at a community dance. Her then boyfriend, Hough (last name unknown) beat Horace to a bloody pulp that night for reasons unknown to Rubella at the time. Her hatred towards Hough over this event was reason enough for her to leave him and marry Horace the next day. For obvious reasons Rubella retained her last name (Horace K. Hitler eventually took the name Graves some years later) When it was discovered that Horace had previously been married to Hough's baby sister and had committed acts of unspeakable cruelty upon her, Rubella took a baseball bat to his leg, crippling him for life and confining him to a wheelchair. She left Horace and moved in great haste to Oregon where she met Frank. They married, though never officially as paperwork was never signed and divorce papers never filed for her previous marriage. Rubella took work as a music teacher for underprivileged deaf children. All told, Mrs. Rubella Graves produced a total of 12 children and by the time of her death in 1978, she was grandmother to 42 children and great grandmother of 9. Her first child, Ida Graves, kept all records of family business and history. After Ida (then Ida Dimes) passed in 2004 during a flood, her grandson (Russell Dimes) discovered boxes of family history in a storage unit. He soon found himself on a frantic search to tie all relatives together, searching the internet for birth and death records, marriage certificates and means of contact. He developed a website, sonsofrubella.com and set out to find all the leaves on the tree. That is how they met. Through e-mail, social networking sites, and even dating services, Russell forced every member of the band (in addition to several others, myself included) into a bizarre little union, Each member is related in one way or another, either by birth or marriage, to Rubella Graves or the Graves family. None of them had met, though all lived within 20 miles of one another. They met at Dave Redden's bar (Dave being the multi-instrumental co-songwriter of the group) and after all the "getting to know you" chit-chat was out of the way, they relocated to Jacksin's (the other songwriter) garage, where they connected immediately. The result of the meeting was this, Rubella Graves, a misplaced group of relations, united in a common purpose and driven to keep the spirit of Rubella alive, and it is in her memory that their stories and songs are sung. Donovan Graves Great Grandson of Rubella.