Having failed at everything else that they have tried in life, the members of Turd Helmet thought, 'Crap, let's sing about crap' and the rest was history. Sure were old and ugly but try to think of us as young hip college kids with more hair so you have a better opinion of us. Jeremy Rudo : Short, bald and foul tempered. - The guy in front of the mic & guitar Jim Thomas : Tall, blonde and ornery when he's drunk - Guitar & congas Jeff Fried : Old - Keyboards Tits McStinson : Single and available : Bass Mike Fernandez : Soon to be replaced by someone who can commit to the band - drums Max Moseley : A little plump and in need of a shower - Band guru Jon Kawaguchi : Pussy whipped by his wife - Practice drummer Tom Bourg : Shares a rock room with Turd Helmet and practices with us and has his own kick ass band. Sean Hudson: Fat and ugly : Future guitarist for Turd Helmet if Jim's hiatus lasts much longer.